I hate you.. Just fuck you, really.
You've been the main topic of discussion within my inner circle of friends and family for months now. You spread your venom into everyone you touch and hold on for as long as you can... You won't be happy until you've infected us all with your intolerance and suffering. Every time I think of you, my stomach drops and my heart breaks all over again. How many times can a heart break? It's getting ridiculous.
Enough is enough. I'm quite finished with you and the way you torment everyone I care for. From now on you can call me fire, because you will never again find shade in the coolness of my shadow. You won't follow me around wherever I go, begging me to give in.
No more. You won't find that relief from me. Consider yourself defeated before you even get the chance to start this time. You're just an asshole who's worked my nerves to zero. My skin crawls every time your name touches someones lips. It's time to move on. This shit is over.
No more excruciating conversations about you, no more what if's and why's. It's time for YOU to do the suffering. It's time for you to know what it feels like to be crushed, defeated and left alone to pick up the pieces of someone else's destruction.
We have beaten this relationship to death, and it feels so good to sever the ties. I even bought a new black dress so I can pay the death of this mess my last respects.
Fuck you and everything you stand for, cancer.
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Aww SNAP - My rant about welfare.
WELFARE WELFARE WELFARE... Otherwise known as SNAP/LINK. It seems that the general population wants to be Judge Jury and Executioner when it comes to regulations in regards to this. The problem is that our Judges seem to have gone straight from grade school into their self entitled chairs.
Stupidity seeps from their pores like a broken hydrant. It trickles into our water system and we drink it up like it's kool-aid. We feed it to our children, because most of us don't know any better. It has no scent, no color.. It's form is undetectable unless you know what you're looking for. I have learned to catch it by that faint bitter taste it leaves in your mouth.
We should do drug tests on everyone receiving state benefits, because that isn't profiling at all!! Clearly EVERYONE on state aid does drugs. Obviously drug dealers have a little black book of welfare recipients that they call when their shipments come in. They also ALL live on the West side of Rockford and have 8 kids by 40 men, none of which pay child support. 15 of them are in jail for selling drugs, 10 for using drugs, 8 for murder and 7 for prostitution. Not only does that ignorant scenario profile our entire population, but it degrades every single hard working person that finds themselves in a bad place. Good people would rather die in a ditch than find themselves at the State aid office because they are ashamed of what people will say, and they don't want to be categorized with the harsh judgments from people who have no place to judge.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151399927456275&set=a.180479986274.135777.177486166274&type=1&ref=nf
The fact is, drug testing people on state aid will cost more than it will save. The fact is, drug abusers need to eat too. I don't condone it, nor am I an advocate for them. I am however an advocate for the children that are brought into this world by said drug abusers. Just because their parents aren't upstanding citizens doesn't mean that the kids should go without. We could rip those kids from the household.. That just starts another state issue that I won't even get into. The sad fact is that if the kids have food and a place to sleep, those kids won't be taken. Do we punish those kids for their parents bad decisions and take away their meals? Wouldn't that make us child abusers? The truth is, there are many people on drugs that hold steady jobs and aren't on state aid. Just as there will always be users that are.
In the case that we did drug test every welfare recipient, those that test positive would start another whirlwind of problems for the state. We'd have to remove the kids. Taking their kids away when they test dirty costs money. Feeding/housing those kids after they are taken costs money. Cutting their benefits makes them more likely to steal/kill in desperate times, which costs not only the state, but us too more money. Mandatory rehab? Sure, but who's going to pay for that? The state.. Sadly, there are probably drug abusers that are more caring/attentive parents than half of the wealthy/stable adults. Not every poor person is a drug user, and not every rich person is wonderful and clean. Let's keep profiling, because it makes everything better.
The second thing our wonderful judges like to talk about is limiting what they can buy with those benefits. Bread. milk, cereal and peanut butter.. Those are the ones I've heard the most. Would we tell a war vet receiving benefits after getting his legs blown off in a war that he can only eat cereal and peanut butter for the rest of his life? Would we tell an adult with Down syndrome that tries to make it on their own but can't find a job that pays more than minimum wage, part time that it's all they can have? Would we look a 6 year old in the eye that wants a mini bag of cookies for lunch so as to blend into their peers and tell them that they have to bring a bag of dry cereal to school for a snack because their parents are broke and receive benefits? If you answered NO to any of those questions then you can't pick and choose your bias and give them rights, but cut off the rest. Stop joining the masses of mindless followers. Furthermore, if the state gives you $200 a month for groceries and you spend it on groceries, that's all we need to know. Peoples eating habits are none of our business. A homeless person doesn't have the luxury of gas to cook or a fridge to store things. They can't prepare these "nutritious" meals that you blind sheep speak of.
Drug testing and limiting the items you can purchase are not going to solve the fraud problem. Solving the problem starts from within.
Stupidity seeps from their pores like a broken hydrant. It trickles into our water system and we drink it up like it's kool-aid. We feed it to our children, because most of us don't know any better. It has no scent, no color.. It's form is undetectable unless you know what you're looking for. I have learned to catch it by that faint bitter taste it leaves in your mouth.
We should do drug tests on everyone receiving state benefits, because that isn't profiling at all!! Clearly EVERYONE on state aid does drugs. Obviously drug dealers have a little black book of welfare recipients that they call when their shipments come in. They also ALL live on the West side of Rockford and have 8 kids by 40 men, none of which pay child support. 15 of them are in jail for selling drugs, 10 for using drugs, 8 for murder and 7 for prostitution. Not only does that ignorant scenario profile our entire population, but it degrades every single hard working person that finds themselves in a bad place. Good people would rather die in a ditch than find themselves at the State aid office because they are ashamed of what people will say, and they don't want to be categorized with the harsh judgments from people who have no place to judge.
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151399927456275&set=a.180479986274.135777.177486166274&type=1&ref=nf
The fact is, drug testing people on state aid will cost more than it will save. The fact is, drug abusers need to eat too. I don't condone it, nor am I an advocate for them. I am however an advocate for the children that are brought into this world by said drug abusers. Just because their parents aren't upstanding citizens doesn't mean that the kids should go without. We could rip those kids from the household.. That just starts another state issue that I won't even get into. The sad fact is that if the kids have food and a place to sleep, those kids won't be taken. Do we punish those kids for their parents bad decisions and take away their meals? Wouldn't that make us child abusers? The truth is, there are many people on drugs that hold steady jobs and aren't on state aid. Just as there will always be users that are.
In the case that we did drug test every welfare recipient, those that test positive would start another whirlwind of problems for the state. We'd have to remove the kids. Taking their kids away when they test dirty costs money. Feeding/housing those kids after they are taken costs money. Cutting their benefits makes them more likely to steal/kill in desperate times, which costs not only the state, but us too more money. Mandatory rehab? Sure, but who's going to pay for that? The state.. Sadly, there are probably drug abusers that are more caring/attentive parents than half of the wealthy/stable adults. Not every poor person is a drug user, and not every rich person is wonderful and clean. Let's keep profiling, because it makes everything better.
The second thing our wonderful judges like to talk about is limiting what they can buy with those benefits. Bread. milk, cereal and peanut butter.. Those are the ones I've heard the most. Would we tell a war vet receiving benefits after getting his legs blown off in a war that he can only eat cereal and peanut butter for the rest of his life? Would we tell an adult with Down syndrome that tries to make it on their own but can't find a job that pays more than minimum wage, part time that it's all they can have? Would we look a 6 year old in the eye that wants a mini bag of cookies for lunch so as to blend into their peers and tell them that they have to bring a bag of dry cereal to school for a snack because their parents are broke and receive benefits? If you answered NO to any of those questions then you can't pick and choose your bias and give them rights, but cut off the rest. Stop joining the masses of mindless followers. Furthermore, if the state gives you $200 a month for groceries and you spend it on groceries, that's all we need to know. Peoples eating habits are none of our business. A homeless person doesn't have the luxury of gas to cook or a fridge to store things. They can't prepare these "nutritious" meals that you blind sheep speak of.
Drug testing and limiting the items you can purchase are not going to solve the fraud problem. Solving the problem starts from within.
| 1 | $ 1,211 | $1,862 |
| 2 | $ 1,640 | $2,522 |
| 3 | $ 2,069 | $3,182 |
| 4 | $ 2,498 | $3,842 |
| 5 | $ 2,927 | $4,502 |
| 6 | $ 3,356 | $5,162 |
| 7 | $ 3,785 | $5,822 |
| 8 | $ 4,214 | $6,482 |
| 9 | $ 4,643 | $7,142 |
| 10 | $ 5,072 | $7,802 |
This is the chart they use to determine what benefits you can have. Column one is for people under 60 and column 2 is for 60+ or disabled. I personally know people both single and/or parents with one child that make as much as my household does (we don't come close to qualifying) and also get state aid. One in specific is single, lives in a 3 bedroom house and drives a brand new Civic. How exactly did she manage to get that card? People not doing their jobs. They tell you to bring proof of income. If you walk in and say you have none, they don't even question you.
There lies the first problem to be fixed. Solution? Link up with the IRS, or something similiar that tracks our income each year. Computers are magical! An automatic kickback of anything that doesn't match. Throw those files into a queue and have someone review those files and hit the CANCEL BENEFITS button when you've lied. Automatic 5 year revoke of benefits. The program and link up process would cost a lot of money, but I firmly believe that it would pay itself back within a year. You have to spend money to make money. Make the state take accountability first. The people who abuse the system are not honest people and we can't count on them to tell the truth. Force it from within. Let the truth speak for itself. No exceptions. You lie, you lose.
Second step. Pictures and state ID/license numbers on every card. Make it mandatory just like buying cigarettes that the store reference both your license/ID and your Link card. Fine that store when they don't. The threat of it and the thought that any person could be someone to check for compliance will make every store watch a little more closely. No match, no food. Scum will be a little less likely to take someones grocery list and do their shopping for them in return for a small amount of cash that they normally sell the cards for. If that's what they choose to do, we can't and will NEVER be able to stop that from happening.
Step three. Disabled and Seniors in need get a lifetime card that never needs to be renewed. 99/99/99 just like prescriptions. People with jobs in need of help have 6 months. At that 6 month period their case is reviewed and if they haven't submitted the proper documentation of proof of pay ect, benefits are cut until they do. People with no jobs are treated like unemployment. Same system. If proper documentation isn't turned in with current job searches, cut off. Done. Maximum of one year with no proof of work.
Will it stop fraud completely? No. Nothing ever will. The smarter technology gets, the dumber people controlling the computers get. All you can really do is put steps in place to bring the lazy and dishonest to their knees while supporting those with good intentions.
In closing, I'd like to point out that according to the states chart, I'd have to birth 5 or 6 more kids to even qualify for $200 a month. I'm definitely not living in poverty, but I can safely say that I couldn't afford 7 kids with my households income and $200 a month wouldn't make a lick of a difference.
Will it stop fraud completely? No. Nothing ever will. The smarter technology gets, the dumber people controlling the computers get. All you can really do is put steps in place to bring the lazy and dishonest to their knees while supporting those with good intentions.
In closing, I'd like to point out that according to the states chart, I'd have to birth 5 or 6 more kids to even qualify for $200 a month. I'm definitely not living in poverty, but I can safely say that I couldn't afford 7 kids with my households income and $200 a month wouldn't make a lick of a difference.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
What I say and what I mean.
That sounds like fun. = Please for the love of GOD don't invite me!
Sure, we'll be there. = I guess I can stomach this for a few hours before I make my excuses and get the hell out.
We can go get coffee and talk = Coffee is the only balance that is going to keep me from telling you that I don't give a shit about your crybaby whiney assed opinions or problems.
LOL = That was so god damn stupid I am at a loss for words.
That sounds great. = FML this is going to suck.
I love my family. = If I keep saying this, eventually the urge to run through the house screaming and punching walls will subside.
Today is a good day. = Hey, look.. Someone got screwed and it wasn't me..
Life is good. = Revenge is fun.
I can't wait. = I can't wait to get this over with.
You're an amazing person. = You're less shitty than most shitheads on this shithole planet.
I love you more than life. = I hate life so pretty much I just tolerate you better than I do most. (My half husband and family don't count because I really do love them)
Thank you. = Surprise surprise that's really what I mean.. I'm not ALWAYS mean, god!
Please stop. = Get the frick out of my face before I gouge your eyes out with a spork.
Go away. = Step away, slowly and carefully.
Good point. = I guess you aren't as bat-shit crazy as I thought.
I'm impressed. = That's the only smart thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth.
That's a good idea. = I wait with anticipation to see which of the 46 possible ways it could backfire blows up in your face. You're back on the dumbass list.
Sure, we'll be there. = I guess I can stomach this for a few hours before I make my excuses and get the hell out.
We can go get coffee and talk = Coffee is the only balance that is going to keep me from telling you that I don't give a shit about your crybaby whiney assed opinions or problems.
LOL = That was so god damn stupid I am at a loss for words.
That sounds great. = FML this is going to suck.
I love my family. = If I keep saying this, eventually the urge to run through the house screaming and punching walls will subside.
Today is a good day. = Hey, look.. Someone got screwed and it wasn't me..
Life is good. = Revenge is fun.
I can't wait. = I can't wait to get this over with.
You're an amazing person. = You're less shitty than most shitheads on this shithole planet.
I love you more than life. = I hate life so pretty much I just tolerate you better than I do most. (My half husband and family don't count because I really do love them)
Thank you. = Surprise surprise that's really what I mean.. I'm not ALWAYS mean, god!
Please stop. = Get the frick out of my face before I gouge your eyes out with a spork.
Go away. = Step away, slowly and carefully.
Good point. = I guess you aren't as bat-shit crazy as I thought.
I'm impressed. = That's the only smart thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth.
That's a good idea. = I wait with anticipation to see which of the 46 possible ways it could backfire blows up in your face. You're back on the dumbass list.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Screw you, Martha Stewart.
http://powerofmoms.com/2012/04/your-children-want-you/
I got this article from my sister who posted it to her page. At first I thought I would want to stab myself in the temple with a dirty spork, but it turned out to be pretty on the spot. Nothing needs to be picture perfect. You don't need to be Martha F'ing Stewart to be a good mother/wife. When did Martha Stewart become perfect? Wasn't she in prison?? I've never been to prison! (I never said I don't belong there, just that I've never been) Moving on..
I'd never knock anyone for their artistic side. I love to show mine as well. I'd never look down on people who make their own decor and bake/cook the world's prettiest food. I love to cook as well. I love to scrapbook and make seasonal baskets, wreaths, candles ect.. Honestly, what mother doesn't like to be crafty?? The point is, I realized that the article is SOOOO right!! I can be, but I don't NEED to be.
Honestly. I could change the entire living room and bedazzle the walls and throw glitter all over the tables and floor and I can say with certainty that David would have no idea. As long as his couch cushion still indents perfectly to the shape of his ass and the t.v isn't on Lifetime, he doesn't give one shit what sits on the tables or hangs on the walls.
Brianna would rather I had 50 cent Salvation Army decor around the house. She doesn't get in trouble when it's someone elses garbage that she breaks. She wants to run through the house and be a kid. Not sit and admire a $400 vase that has no use but to collect dust and piss me the hell off, or be grounded for a month for breaking said over-priced, likely ugly anyway, vase.
I still have gold glittery sticks sitting in the ONLY vase you will find in my house. They are from Christmas. That's right, shut your face. I said Christmas. I bet they are still sitting there next Christmas, too.. Why the hell should I have to get glitter all over my hands just to change the color theme of the room. The point is, they both still love me even though I keep ugly Christmas decorations up year round just because I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and find my Spring flowers. It's not killing them or making them hate me. They don't even look at it. How do you like them apples, Martha?
My bathroom has a theme. It's called Everybody's towels and clothes on the floor. I have a few shells Brianna has found for me sitting on a shelf, but I challenge you to find them behind all of the makeup, hair products, curling/straightening irons and hordes of cold medicine we use on a weekly basis. What of it? I don't need rubber duckies jumping out at me in the bathroom to be happy, and I also am not a fan of things watching me while I do what people do in a bathroom. I don't need a matching soap dish, tissue box, hand sanitizer and toilet paper dispenser. I don't need soap shaped like flowers or fish or ducks. If I had money to buy soap for show, I'd probably have matching towels. Trust me, I DON'T. If you can't wash your hands with my Safeguard and dry them off on a plain colored towel then you should get the hell out of my house. Brianna and Dave still love me. (Though you might be asking yourself why by now) In your FACE Martha freaking Stewart.
My kitchen decor consists of flour scattered all over and dished piled as high as the dirty freakin ceiling from my daily fight with baked goods. I have one picture hanging on the wall of a vase of flowers in an abstract fashion. It's probably covered in some sort of baking batter from a fight I often have with the mixer. It's not for you to look at. It's for me to look at and keep my mood leveled as to not stab my family as I am cooking dinner and they repeatedly ask me "when's dinner. what's for dinner. is it ready yet? are you burning it? ARE YOU DONE YET?" Brianna and Dave don't give a DAMN what's on the kitchen walls as long as that kitchen produces meals for them. Eat that, Martha.
On to cooking. I do love me some baking. I love to make things pretty and create things Brianna wants to show off to her friends. But at the end of the day it's not a requirement. They will eat a cake that fell apart because I frosted it too early (THAT'S FOR YOU MOM!!!) just as quickly as they eat a cake I spent 2 hours perfecting. They eat cupcakes that are plain with as much ease as they annihilate the ones I spend 3 hours layering with colors. Dave makes a "casserole" that consists of ramen noodles, hot dogs, cream of chicken soup, green beans and other disgusting things that only he will touch when I'm sick. He inhales that just as quickly as a 6 layer enchilada dinner I spend 3 hours on. Brianna doesn't like anything but Mcdonalds and pizza.. She'd rather eat chicken nuggets from the microwave than a 3 course meal I prepare. They both still love me, because I feed them. I win, Martha!
My point is, I am so far from perfect that I'm surprised the universe even let's me type the word. My family is still my family and we get by just fine with our mismatched towels. If they still want to be around me by the time I've managed to pour a pot of coffee down my throat, I call that a win for the day. If they still love me when my mood goes from zero to certifiably crazy, I'm pretty sure we can get through the day with my Christmas decorations in April. If Dave can handle my "I'mflyingoffthehandlefornoreasonsotakeitlikeaman" moments, he can handle my baking disasters.
We do things as a family. We play board games, watch movies, play cards. We go outside and play football with all the neighborhood kids. I watch Brianna do cartwheels and roll down the hill. I listen to all of her grade school playground drama with interest. We have water fights in the kitchen and paper fights in the living room. I watch all of her ridiculous youtube video's she addicted to. We help her with her homework, yell at her when she doesn't do it, nag her endlessly about cleaning her room and laugh at her when she does something silly. She hangs out with me all the time. Not because she has to, but because she wants to. SHE LOVES ME!!! <3 That's what makes us a family, not my bathroom decor.
I got this article from my sister who posted it to her page. At first I thought I would want to stab myself in the temple with a dirty spork, but it turned out to be pretty on the spot. Nothing needs to be picture perfect. You don't need to be Martha F'ing Stewart to be a good mother/wife. When did Martha Stewart become perfect? Wasn't she in prison?? I've never been to prison! (I never said I don't belong there, just that I've never been) Moving on..
I'd never knock anyone for their artistic side. I love to show mine as well. I'd never look down on people who make their own decor and bake/cook the world's prettiest food. I love to cook as well. I love to scrapbook and make seasonal baskets, wreaths, candles ect.. Honestly, what mother doesn't like to be crafty?? The point is, I realized that the article is SOOOO right!! I can be, but I don't NEED to be.
Honestly. I could change the entire living room and bedazzle the walls and throw glitter all over the tables and floor and I can say with certainty that David would have no idea. As long as his couch cushion still indents perfectly to the shape of his ass and the t.v isn't on Lifetime, he doesn't give one shit what sits on the tables or hangs on the walls.
Brianna would rather I had 50 cent Salvation Army decor around the house. She doesn't get in trouble when it's someone elses garbage that she breaks. She wants to run through the house and be a kid. Not sit and admire a $400 vase that has no use but to collect dust and piss me the hell off, or be grounded for a month for breaking said over-priced, likely ugly anyway, vase.
I still have gold glittery sticks sitting in the ONLY vase you will find in my house. They are from Christmas. That's right, shut your face. I said Christmas. I bet they are still sitting there next Christmas, too.. Why the hell should I have to get glitter all over my hands just to change the color theme of the room. The point is, they both still love me even though I keep ugly Christmas decorations up year round just because I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and find my Spring flowers. It's not killing them or making them hate me. They don't even look at it. How do you like them apples, Martha?
My bathroom has a theme. It's called Everybody's towels and clothes on the floor. I have a few shells Brianna has found for me sitting on a shelf, but I challenge you to find them behind all of the makeup, hair products, curling/straightening irons and hordes of cold medicine we use on a weekly basis. What of it? I don't need rubber duckies jumping out at me in the bathroom to be happy, and I also am not a fan of things watching me while I do what people do in a bathroom. I don't need a matching soap dish, tissue box, hand sanitizer and toilet paper dispenser. I don't need soap shaped like flowers or fish or ducks. If I had money to buy soap for show, I'd probably have matching towels. Trust me, I DON'T. If you can't wash your hands with my Safeguard and dry them off on a plain colored towel then you should get the hell out of my house. Brianna and Dave still love me. (Though you might be asking yourself why by now) In your FACE Martha freaking Stewart.
My kitchen decor consists of flour scattered all over and dished piled as high as the dirty freakin ceiling from my daily fight with baked goods. I have one picture hanging on the wall of a vase of flowers in an abstract fashion. It's probably covered in some sort of baking batter from a fight I often have with the mixer. It's not for you to look at. It's for me to look at and keep my mood leveled as to not stab my family as I am cooking dinner and they repeatedly ask me "when's dinner. what's for dinner. is it ready yet? are you burning it? ARE YOU DONE YET?" Brianna and Dave don't give a DAMN what's on the kitchen walls as long as that kitchen produces meals for them. Eat that, Martha.
On to cooking. I do love me some baking. I love to make things pretty and create things Brianna wants to show off to her friends. But at the end of the day it's not a requirement. They will eat a cake that fell apart because I frosted it too early (THAT'S FOR YOU MOM!!!) just as quickly as they eat a cake I spent 2 hours perfecting. They eat cupcakes that are plain with as much ease as they annihilate the ones I spend 3 hours layering with colors. Dave makes a "casserole" that consists of ramen noodles, hot dogs, cream of chicken soup, green beans and other disgusting things that only he will touch when I'm sick. He inhales that just as quickly as a 6 layer enchilada dinner I spend 3 hours on. Brianna doesn't like anything but Mcdonalds and pizza.. She'd rather eat chicken nuggets from the microwave than a 3 course meal I prepare. They both still love me, because I feed them. I win, Martha!
My point is, I am so far from perfect that I'm surprised the universe even let's me type the word. My family is still my family and we get by just fine with our mismatched towels. If they still want to be around me by the time I've managed to pour a pot of coffee down my throat, I call that a win for the day. If they still love me when my mood goes from zero to certifiably crazy, I'm pretty sure we can get through the day with my Christmas decorations in April. If Dave can handle my "I'mflyingoffthehandlefornoreasonsotakeitlikeaman" moments, he can handle my baking disasters.
We do things as a family. We play board games, watch movies, play cards. We go outside and play football with all the neighborhood kids. I watch Brianna do cartwheels and roll down the hill. I listen to all of her grade school playground drama with interest. We have water fights in the kitchen and paper fights in the living room. I watch all of her ridiculous youtube video's she addicted to. We help her with her homework, yell at her when she doesn't do it, nag her endlessly about cleaning her room and laugh at her when she does something silly. She hangs out with me all the time. Not because she has to, but because she wants to. SHE LOVES ME!!! <3 That's what makes us a family, not my bathroom decor.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Letter to my daughter ..
Dearest Daughter,
As you are aware, mommy has been feeling a little under the weather since Wednesday when you infected me with your sickly germs. I am very proud that the value of sharing I tried to instill upon you did not fall on deaf ears. However, there are certain things in life that you absolutely should not feel obligated to share with me. Let's go over a few of those, okay love?
As I was walking out of the bedroom after 30 minutes of sleep and stumbling around in the dark, I found your laptop cord stretched through the middle of the livingroom. Your laptop is all yours sweetie, feel free to keep it in your bedroom. No really, I insist!
After untangling my foot from your cord, I promptly found your pepsi can on the floor next to the couch. I found this by taking a step with bare feet. It hurt, sweetie! Feel free to share those cans with the garbage can anytime you want, but mommy doesn't want them.
After limping to my computer chair, I sat down with a sigh of relief and was greeted with a loud CRUNCH. Upon standing I saw that you left me some sour cream and onion chips on my chair. Thank you dear, but we bought those for you. Mommy doesn't like sour cream and onion chips, and neither does her chair. Next time feel free to keep them all to yourself.
Now let's talk about some other things. Things that you SHOULD share.
I went into the kitchen to get a Pepsi and start a pot of coffee. Upon arrival in the kitchen I noticed that you made yourself 2 boxes of macaroni and cheese. I know it's 2 because the boxes were right on the counter next to the dirty pan. Next to the pan was an entire bowl of uneaten macaroni and cheese. Next time, I urge you to make ONE box and then give the other to a neighborhood kid so that it doesn't go to waste. That's when sharing is GOOD. Back to my Pepsi now. I reached in to the newly bought 12 pack and found one can alllllllll the way in the back. Thank you for leaving me ONE. That I suppose is also a good kind of sharing.
Lastly, I would like to discuss things I do not wish to share with you.
I decided to go take a shower to hopefully make myself feel a little bit better. Midway through, I reached for my body wash. I bought it a little under a month ago and normally it lasts about 5-6 months. The bottle was empty and my new lufa that I have never used smelled a lot like my body wash that magically evaporated. I bet your skin is pretty soft right now, isn't it? As you grow up and have kids of your own you will learn that you NEVER mess with a mother and her exfoliating body wash. It's the only luxury I have left.
I got out of the shower and decided to get over the body wash incident and NOT pull you from the comfort of your bed to shake you and make you tell me why you hate me. That's about the time I was reaching for my toothbrush. You know, the blue one. I know mine is the blue one because I bought a 2 pack of blue and green and you could have won an oscar for your melt down performance on why you refused to use the blue one. (Blue is for boys and you are NOT a boy you are A GIRL and girls need pretty things!!!! (sobsobsnifflemylifeisoverwhydoyouhatemesnifflesobdoorslam) Moving on....
My blue toothbrush had green sparkly toothpaste on it. I don't use green sparkly toothpaste. I use white stuff that comes out of a sample tube that grandma gave me because I can't afford my own after the 10 dollar bottle of green sparkly toothpaste you HAD TO HAVE! My dear child, STEP AWAY FROM MY TOOTHBRUSH! Is nothing sacred anymore?! I guess now I know how you so lovingly shared your germs with me.
I would also at this time like to address my makeup. I use makeup because if I don't, people run away screaming. I don't like to scare small children and this makeup is a tool to prevent that from happening. You have your own to play with that I bought for you so you would stop wasting mine. USE YOUR OWN!!! I can not afford for you and the 7 neighborhood girls that invade my house daily to use my makeup and hair products for play. Step away from the makeup drawer or you will find yourself super glued to the back of your door while I blast my "lame" music at the level you play yours.
You will probably never read this as you are usually too busy complaining about your lame mom to the brigade of 9 to 12 year old kids you march through my house every waking moment. I suppose it's for the best since I have no energy left to fight with you. Regardless, I love you so very much!
Sincerely,
Your lame mother
As you are aware, mommy has been feeling a little under the weather since Wednesday when you infected me with your sickly germs. I am very proud that the value of sharing I tried to instill upon you did not fall on deaf ears. However, there are certain things in life that you absolutely should not feel obligated to share with me. Let's go over a few of those, okay love?
As I was walking out of the bedroom after 30 minutes of sleep and stumbling around in the dark, I found your laptop cord stretched through the middle of the livingroom. Your laptop is all yours sweetie, feel free to keep it in your bedroom. No really, I insist!
After untangling my foot from your cord, I promptly found your pepsi can on the floor next to the couch. I found this by taking a step with bare feet. It hurt, sweetie! Feel free to share those cans with the garbage can anytime you want, but mommy doesn't want them.
After limping to my computer chair, I sat down with a sigh of relief and was greeted with a loud CRUNCH. Upon standing I saw that you left me some sour cream and onion chips on my chair. Thank you dear, but we bought those for you. Mommy doesn't like sour cream and onion chips, and neither does her chair. Next time feel free to keep them all to yourself.
Now let's talk about some other things. Things that you SHOULD share.
I went into the kitchen to get a Pepsi and start a pot of coffee. Upon arrival in the kitchen I noticed that you made yourself 2 boxes of macaroni and cheese. I know it's 2 because the boxes were right on the counter next to the dirty pan. Next to the pan was an entire bowl of uneaten macaroni and cheese. Next time, I urge you to make ONE box and then give the other to a neighborhood kid so that it doesn't go to waste. That's when sharing is GOOD. Back to my Pepsi now. I reached in to the newly bought 12 pack and found one can alllllllll the way in the back. Thank you for leaving me ONE. That I suppose is also a good kind of sharing.
Lastly, I would like to discuss things I do not wish to share with you.
I decided to go take a shower to hopefully make myself feel a little bit better. Midway through, I reached for my body wash. I bought it a little under a month ago and normally it lasts about 5-6 months. The bottle was empty and my new lufa that I have never used smelled a lot like my body wash that magically evaporated. I bet your skin is pretty soft right now, isn't it? As you grow up and have kids of your own you will learn that you NEVER mess with a mother and her exfoliating body wash. It's the only luxury I have left.
I got out of the shower and decided to get over the body wash incident and NOT pull you from the comfort of your bed to shake you and make you tell me why you hate me. That's about the time I was reaching for my toothbrush. You know, the blue one. I know mine is the blue one because I bought a 2 pack of blue and green and you could have won an oscar for your melt down performance on why you refused to use the blue one. (Blue is for boys and you are NOT a boy you are A GIRL and girls need pretty things!!!! (sobsobsnifflemylifeisoverwhydoyouhatemesnifflesobdoorslam) Moving on....
My blue toothbrush had green sparkly toothpaste on it. I don't use green sparkly toothpaste. I use white stuff that comes out of a sample tube that grandma gave me because I can't afford my own after the 10 dollar bottle of green sparkly toothpaste you HAD TO HAVE! My dear child, STEP AWAY FROM MY TOOTHBRUSH! Is nothing sacred anymore?! I guess now I know how you so lovingly shared your germs with me.
I would also at this time like to address my makeup. I use makeup because if I don't, people run away screaming. I don't like to scare small children and this makeup is a tool to prevent that from happening. You have your own to play with that I bought for you so you would stop wasting mine. USE YOUR OWN!!! I can not afford for you and the 7 neighborhood girls that invade my house daily to use my makeup and hair products for play. Step away from the makeup drawer or you will find yourself super glued to the back of your door while I blast my "lame" music at the level you play yours.
You will probably never read this as you are usually too busy complaining about your lame mom to the brigade of 9 to 12 year old kids you march through my house every waking moment. I suppose it's for the best since I have no energy left to fight with you. Regardless, I love you so very much!
Sincerely,
Your lame mother
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Dear 205 Teachers:
Who the hell do you think you are? Your OPINION is that you deserve better benefits because you care for and teach our children for a living. Being a teacher was your choice. How dare you threaten to stop teaching those kids you claim to care for, because your benefits and wages aren't what you THINK they should be. How dare you. Let's punish the kids because you are selfish and greedy and then claim in the same speech how much you care for them.
Doctors and nurses care for the entire city, their benefits aren't great! Nurses don't make a whole lot more than you do and I'm sorry to tell you but THEY deserve it more than you. I don't see them striking. I don't see them punishing sick people because they want better benefits. I don't see them crying and whining on t.v about having to pay for their own insurance. Cry me a river and then drown in it. You aren't better than anyone else, and you don't deserve more than anyone else.
When I was in school, we did projects and had homework.. REAL HOMEWORK! Not some pathetic worksheet with a paragraph to read and a few math problems. Our teachers TAUGHT us and they didn't make as much as you, I can guarentee that one! You guys don't even teach anymore. You throw some work at our kids and tell them to figure it out. I did book reports, not a stupid 10 question test with 3 choices to pick from for the right answer. They don't even need to read anymore!! They just have to use common sense to pick the answer that fits with the book description. PATHETIC!!!!! No more grades, just a 1 2 3 or 4 based on the work they do from the ridiculous worksheets you call homework.
To sum it up, most of you don't even deserve to call yourselves teachers anymore. You make me sick with your terrible attitudes, lack of patience and your inability to teach our kids what they deserve to be taught. Myself and all of my school friends included were at levels 4 grades beyond what our kids are at now, and YOU are complaining about your health benefits? You have kids that are homeless in your classes with barely enough to survive, and YOU are worried about getting better benefits? That's just disgusting. I hope you do strike, and I hope you all get fired for your selfish nature. Burn in the fiery pits of hell at this point.. Our kids are already learning nothing but how to yell and scream like you do at them.
You. Make. Me. Sick.
Doctors and nurses care for the entire city, their benefits aren't great! Nurses don't make a whole lot more than you do and I'm sorry to tell you but THEY deserve it more than you. I don't see them striking. I don't see them punishing sick people because they want better benefits. I don't see them crying and whining on t.v about having to pay for their own insurance. Cry me a river and then drown in it. You aren't better than anyone else, and you don't deserve more than anyone else.
When I was in school, we did projects and had homework.. REAL HOMEWORK! Not some pathetic worksheet with a paragraph to read and a few math problems. Our teachers TAUGHT us and they didn't make as much as you, I can guarentee that one! You guys don't even teach anymore. You throw some work at our kids and tell them to figure it out. I did book reports, not a stupid 10 question test with 3 choices to pick from for the right answer. They don't even need to read anymore!! They just have to use common sense to pick the answer that fits with the book description. PATHETIC!!!!! No more grades, just a 1 2 3 or 4 based on the work they do from the ridiculous worksheets you call homework.
To sum it up, most of you don't even deserve to call yourselves teachers anymore. You make me sick with your terrible attitudes, lack of patience and your inability to teach our kids what they deserve to be taught. Myself and all of my school friends included were at levels 4 grades beyond what our kids are at now, and YOU are complaining about your health benefits? You have kids that are homeless in your classes with barely enough to survive, and YOU are worried about getting better benefits? That's just disgusting. I hope you do strike, and I hope you all get fired for your selfish nature. Burn in the fiery pits of hell at this point.. Our kids are already learning nothing but how to yell and scream like you do at them.
You. Make. Me. Sick.
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